Dating a british man

01-Sep-2020 10:56

Before that, hardly anyone went on dates, or if they did, it was just the one date, which changed a relationship from a friendship to a romantic one.

British people like to pretend they are 'just friends' until the relationship becomes physical so even if they arrange to go out together alone, they don't call it a date -that would be too risky -you'd be telling someone you're interested in them before you know whether they like you back.

I completely disagree with the idea that suggesting a second date would seem 'too forward' I suspect it may often be the only way to get anywhere.

The absence of a 'spark' that you mentioned could be because they interpret your behaviour as cool or uptight (how's that for reversing stereotypes? Also, because 'dating' is not part of British culture, a lot of men view dates as a one-off interview and if by the end of it they don't think they will fall in love you, or sleep with you they don't see any point in asking you out again.

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There are no set of rules that everybody knows and interprets in the same way -except that women are expected to buy rounds of drinks same as the men, and they should offer to split the bill at a restaurant.

I am not the only American woman that has the problem, as several of my fellow countrywomen complain of the same thing with the lovely men of these shores. I am not aggressive or pushy or shy or any of the stereotypical things that would turn a man off.

Back home a date that stretched on - by the man's own suggestion, not mine - from drinks, to dinner, to after dinner coffee, with conversation throughout - and then possibly even a good-night kiss would mean he was interested in at least getting to know the woman better! It seems that I can engage in good conversation and emails, even telephone conversations prior to the dates ...

It is also possible that you may come across as a little bit 'hard work' or 'high maintenance' and British men certainly don't like that.

This could be purely because you have certain justified expectations of how a man ought to behave on a date but even simple things, like booking a table, arranging a place to meet can seem to them like hard work.

There are no set of rules that everybody knows and interprets in the same way -except that women are expected to buy rounds of drinks same as the men, and they should offer to split the bill at a restaurant.

I am not the only American woman that has the problem, as several of my fellow countrywomen complain of the same thing with the lovely men of these shores. I am not aggressive or pushy or shy or any of the stereotypical things that would turn a man off.

Back home a date that stretched on - by the man's own suggestion, not mine - from drinks, to dinner, to after dinner coffee, with conversation throughout - and then possibly even a good-night kiss would mean he was interested in at least getting to know the woman better! It seems that I can engage in good conversation and emails, even telephone conversations prior to the dates ...

It is also possible that you may come across as a little bit 'hard work' or 'high maintenance' and British men certainly don't like that.

This could be purely because you have certain justified expectations of how a man ought to behave on a date but even simple things, like booking a table, arranging a place to meet can seem to them like hard work.

So to sum up, my advice is avoid arrogant men and when you go on a date, don't have very high expectations and be relaxed -treat it more like two mates going out for a drink.